Bite Me, Nabisco

I missed the Superbowl. Well . . . I didn’t miss it so much as I worked hard to avoid it, seeing as how the Cowboys weren’t playing and in my world if the Cowboys aren’t playing, then who cares?

So I missed this 30-second spot for Oero cookies wherein nerds destroy a library in a whisper fight.

Now, this psychotic episode in ad drama has already been handily dealt with here, here, and here , so I don’t think there’s much I can add to the Intarweb analysis machine other than saying, really, Nabisco? Really?

Let’s set aside that any librarian I’ve worked with would solve the problem of a fist fight in their library with a pair of baseball bats and a bunch of dirty words. (Not really, but we’d at definitely consider it.)

I get what the Mad Men were going for: both parts of an Oreo are so good that normally decent folk would wreck the joint to defend their honor. Or something.

A shushing war in a library would have been funny. A crowd of people all whispering hotly and shushing each other while beating each other up would have been funnier. But that’s not what the commercial showed. It showed them wrecking a place of learning. The guy flipping the table over was passable, but the next scene is the older guy in the stacks pushing the stacks over. At that moment, the wreckage becomes the primary point, not the subtext.

Not what America needs to see, fellas.

I’m wondering why a library was the setting for this mayhem and not, say, an art gallery, or the theater. (Everyone knows that talking at the theater gets you sent to the Special Hell reserved for child molesters.) But the Mad Men who came up with this bit of insanity didn’t go there. They didn’t trash a bank, or an office building, or a war zone, or the White House, or a college dorm, or a tween girls’ slumber party, or a camp ground, or a football game.

They wrecked the library. The message: the collective knowledge of the human race isn’t worth a ten second sugar high. Education isn’t worth being right about a stupid argument. Reading isn’t worth shit, and neither are you. Because all you should care about is which part of the fucking cookie tastes better.

I say: bite me, Nabisco.

What do you think?

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